This is for the women who are experiencing the shame and guilt for being forced to go through divorce/separation and for those who have had to make the decision to go down this road because of their unique circumstances. And the shame that comes from being stigmatized for being a ‘scarlet’ woman, and the feelings of guilt for having ‘failed’ in your marriage. Please know that there is a supernatural gift in divorce, a unique experience of beauty and identification with God that can rise out of the ashes of devastation in your life. When you feel most abandoned, most shamed, and most betrayed in this life, that is when the gospel can seep into your psyche in a way it never has before.
Profound abandonment becomes the doorway through which we realize the depth of His profound provision of HIMSELF for us in the place of those who have left us.
Not only is God here to meet you in your abandonment, but He identifies and understands that abandonment better than any other. His identification with us in the midst of betrayal is the key to the battle against bitterness and cynicism. And, oh, how those two things can rob us of hope for the future. Whatever you do, don’t give in to bitterness and cynicism. Fight them hand in hand with your Savior who understands your pain.
If you are in this season, you likely face the temptation to hurt others the way you have been hurt. If we can’t hurt the one who has wounded us, we may hurt our children or our family/friends trying to help. Or we may just turn it on ourselves. Instead, we need healthy, holy grief. Mourn the loss and acknowledge the devastation that has hit you. But do it hand in hand with your Savior, knowing He understands exactly what you feel and He willingly bears the pain with and for you?
As you walk this road of betrayal and abandonment, know that, in Christ, you do not walk it utterly alone.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
And there is only one place to hide that offers the protection we seek, where all our shame is covered and we no longer need to fear: the refuge of Jesus Christ (Hebrews 6:18–20). Jesus’s death and resurrection is the only remedy for the shame we feel over our grievous sin-failures (Hebrews 9:26).