You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone
I went through my own separation in 2006 and completed my divorce in 2015. I know firsthand what it feels like to face the emotional pain, anger, and fear that come with divorce. I have been right where you are.
Divorce is something I never thought about, but it can happen to anyone—and it happened to me. It was the biggest, most shocking, and life-changing experience. It tore my family apart and brought intense feelings of pain and loss.
This article shares the lessons I learned about the emotional rollercoaster of separation and divorce. Understanding this rollercoaster can help minimize the impact on yourself and your children.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
While some people find relief in ending a toxic marriage, for others, the breakup can cause deep psychological distress—anxiety, depression, and overwhelming fear about the future. Even when divorce seems inevitable, it can still feel like a nightmare. I felt this myself when my ex left, even after eight years of contemplating the decision.
It was like learning to ice skate—slipping, stumbling, and bracing for impact, all packed with emotions. Whether you were forced to leave, left by your spouse, or faced betrayal, you are on this rollercoaster now.
Overwhelming Pain
It’s normal to feel intense emotions when your marriage ends. Your first task is to acknowledge your feelings, understand their origin, and learn to release them in a controlled manner. This doesn’t mean hiding your feelings—it means learning to process them without fueling further pain.
Specific Emotions You May Experience
Even if you initiated the separation, you may experience:
Guilt and Shame: Guilt for ending the marriage, for failing to save it, or for the impact on your children. Shame because of societal stigma or the feeling that your family “failed.”
Fear and Anxiety: Worry about finances, custody, living arrangements, and your children’s well-being. Fear of losing control or being treated unfairly.
Anger and Revenge: Anger at betrayal, abandonment, or the investment of time and love that was not reciprocated. This may manifest as passive withdrawal or intense rage.
Other Emotions: Hurt, confusion, relief, resentment, doubt, disappointment—sometimes all at once, especially at night when you are alone with your thoughts.
Spiritual Encouragement
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Even in the darkest times, you are not alone. Lean on God for strength and guidance:
Allow yourself to grieve, but also trust that healing is possible. Each small step forward is progress.
Moving Forward
Recovery is not just about surviving; it’s about rebuilding your life with dignity, hope, and a sense of purpose. With the right support, you can:
- Regain confidence
- Navigate custody and financial issues with clarity
- Rediscover joy and peace
Take the First Step Today
You don’t have to walk this path alone. My Ubuntu Dignified Divorce & Separation Journey is 12 program that gently guides you from the start of separation to a place of renewed hope and confidence.
Through practical tools, spiritual guidance, and supportive community, you will:
- Understand and manage your emotions
- Gain clarity on your next steps
- Rebuild your life with faith, dignity, and empowerment
Learn more. Visit our website at: https://shiberoa.wixsite.com/shiberorakatsa
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3
