Why Corporal Punishement Teaches Kids to Be Angry Adults
Every time the courts release another devastating ruling on school arson attacks in Kenya, the public conversation takes a predictable, lazy route. We see panel discussions and opinion pieces rushing to demand the return of the cane, shouting about “spoiled children” and a “lack of discipline.” But let’s expose a glaring historical reality that our society has conveniently forgotten: corporal punishment is already a direct violation of our legal framework. The Ministry of Education officially banned caning in 2001. Article 29 of the Constitution explicitly guarantees freedom from all forms of physical violence, and the Children Act of 2022 formally stripped away any remaining legal justification for physical correction. Yet, despite decades of clear legal prohibition, the hard truth is that many schools never actually stopped caning our children. The Myth of “I Turned Out Fine” We frequently hear parents defend the cane by saying: “We were beaten when we were young, and nothing happened to us. We turned out just fine.” But as a practicing clinical therapist, I see the hidden cost of that lie every single day behind closed doors. I have sat across from countless adults who are deeply, psychologically harmed by the very childhood violence they call “discipline.” They did not turn out fine. They turned out to be adults living with severe anxiety, broken self-esteem, deep-seated trauma, and a total inability to manage their emotions without lashing out or shutting down entirely. Under local and international children’s rights laws, caning is not correction—it is outright abuse. The Core Issue: Training the Wrong Thing A wise headteacher once told me: “Every time a child does something wrong, it is an opportunity to train them into doing the right thing.” But what are we actually training them to do when we use the cane? We are not teaching them emotional regulation, accountability, or discipline. We are teaching them that might makes right. We are equipping them with highly destructive life skills: how to suppress anger until it explodes, how to use violence to solve conflicts, and how to operate out of pure fear. We are actively training them how to be angry adults. When these children graduate and enter the workforce, marriages, and communities, they carry those exact negative skills into the world. The Toxic Cycle of Mutual Contempt Caning destroys the foundational bond of education. Because of the ongoing whipping, these children know they are actively “hated” by their handlers. In return, they grow to deeply hate their schools and their teachers. Respect cannot be beaten into a human being. When you replace respect with physical terror, you create a toxic, two-way street of animosity. The children withdraw, the teachers rule by fear, and the classroom becomes a powder keg. School unrest is not a random act of malice. It is the predictable, devastating language of children who have been systematically stripped of their voices, their agency, and their dignity. What We Need to Take Away This is not the first, second, or even third time we are having this debate in our society. We must break this cycle. What do we want the different people involved to take away from this? A Shared Responsibility Ultimately, a school should be a sanctuary, not a processing factory for trauma. When we resort to the cane, we admit that we have run out of words, run out of patience, and run out of better ideas. It means we have failed to do the harder, more necessary work of listening. If we want a society full of emotionally intelligent, stable, and peaceful adults, we have to start by practicing those exact values with our teenagers today. It is our job to absorb the shocks of life, not pass them down to a generation that doesn’t have the tools to process them. Let’s stop beating them into submission. Let’s start training them into the right thing. This crosses over to CHID ABUSE. This article was contributed by a practicing clinical practitioner Ms.Shiibero R. Akatsa with extensive experience evaluating adolescent mental health and community structures locally and abroad.
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The Silent Hurt Driving Our Children to the Edge
If you walk into many public boarding schools across the continent today, you will notice something deeply troubling. The high walls, and the rigid, unyielding routines don’t feel like a sanctuary for education. They feel like a detention center. In the wake of devastating tragedies like the Utumishi Girls Academy fire, the public conversation always takes a predictable route. We talk about “spoiled children,” a “lack of discipline,” and the need for stricter punishments. I couldnt beleve it, when i heard one indiviual in educationin Kenya – after this awful tragedy at Utumishi Girls academy – doare to talk about introducing ‘canning’ back in schools. Something that has been happening for the longest time. But this lazy narrative completely ignores a massive, bleeding wound in our education system: the quiet, daily emotional abuse of our children. From my own deep research into student unrest, the truth is glaringly clear. Our children are not burning schools because they are inherently malicious. They are burning them because they are angry, terrified, and utterly helpless. Now, before we go any further, I want to say something very important. This is not a blanket condemnation of every single school in Kenya. We have incredible public and private schools in this country led by amazing, selfless principals and loving teachers who protect our children daily. But we cannot hide behind the exceptions. The hard truth from research and our current headlines is that this “bootcamp” culture and silent frustration are an overwhelming reality in the majority of our public boarding institutions. When Schools Become Battlefields The public school system has become a breeding ground for trauma. Many children are already coming from fragile backgrounds, dealing with poverty, neglect, or domestic friction at home. They enter school hoping for a safe space to grow, but instead, they are met with systemic hostility. Overcrowded dormitories, poor sanitation, and extreme academic pressure create a baseline of constant physical and mental stress. But the heaviest blow comes from the culture of authority. Teachers, administrators, and staff—overworked, underpaid, and drowning in their own personal life stresses—frequently turn the classroom into a battleground. They use their power to humiliate, intimidate, and break the spirits of the children in their care. Instead of mentors, these authorities become the enemies of the child’s well-being. When a student tries to complain about basic human needs—like terrible food, sickness, or mental exhaustion—their voices are completely shut down. There are no channels for open communication, no trusted welfare systems, and a severe shortage of professional counselors. The institution effectively becomes a closed, suffocating world where the child has zero agency. Separating Adult Stress from Child Care We must say it clearly: our children are absorbing our adult frustrations. When a teacher brings financial anxiety, marital problems, or career stagnation into the classroom and takes it out on vulnerable teenagers, it is a form of institutional abuse. As adults, we must learn the vital boundaries of emotional maturity. We must separate our personal hardships from the way we interact with children. It is our job to absorb the shocks of life, not pass them down to a generation that doesn’t have the psychological tools to process them. When we fail to do this, we turn schools into pressure cookers, and arson becomes the student’s desperate language of protest. The Road to Healing: Intentional Living for the Masses Fixing this national emergency requires a complete re-imagining of what a school should be. We must demand an education system that values emotional safety as much as it values mean scores and high grades. This is where intentional living comes in for the wider community. We must actively choose to listen to our children. We need to build homes and school environments where children are seen as human beings who deserve representation, respect, and an emotional safety net. Let us stop treating our youth like cogs in an academic machine. By choosing presence, open communication, and soft empathy over rigid power and control, we can dismantle the bootcamp culture and give our children their sanctuaries back.
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REMOVE THE SHAME OF GETTING SEPARATED OR DIVORCED
This is for the women who are experiencing shame and guilt for being forced to go through divorce/separation, and for those who have had to decide to go down this road because of their unique circumstances. And the shame that comes from being stigmatised for being a ‘scarlet’ woman, and the feelings of guilt for having ‘failed’ in your marriage. Why You Should Never Feel Ashamed to Get a Divorce If you decide to bring your marriage to an end, or find yourself at the end of a forced separation or divorce, you might feel a sense of guilt or shame. You are not alone. For many, divorce can be a shameful public admission of defeat – a failure to remain true to vows that were said when first getting married. Because divorce is considered a “shameful” thing, especially in African society, especially if you are a woman, it can lead many women to fall into depression. But if you feel ashamed of your divorce, keep these four things in mind as you move forward and heal. Avoiding a Cloak of Shame People will always hold their own personal beliefs about divorce. However, if you choose to end your marriage, or find yourself in marital separation, you have no reason to feel ashamed. Those who make comments will always be on the outside looking in and have no idea of the facts and your reasons for ending your marriage. Be assured that marital separation and divorce are not signs of weakness; it takes strength to walk away from a marriage. It’s the right thing to do if the marriage is an unhappy, abusive one, as staying together can do all kinds of damage, not only to couples, but especially to the children.It’s worth noting that most shame associated with ending a marriage can also be self-inflicted. Avoid revisiting the mistakes you made and harbouring regrets. Instead, surround yourself with people who you know will support you and cut yourself off from those who baulk at your decision to end your marriage or in the forced separation you find yourself in now… Society attaches shame to divorce, but that’s not something you can control. Therefore, you shouldn’t feel shame or guilt about doing what’s right for you or your children, and if it is forced upon you, that’s probably a blessing in disguise. You have to refuse the emotional cost of divorce that other people try to put on you and focus on taking care of yourself, your children, and your future. Separation and Divorce IS NOT a Failure You may be feeling the shame of your marital separation and divorce. You may be feeling that the marriage ‘failing’ is a sign that you are inferior. It’s not true. The reality is that life throws us curveballs, and when it does, we have to deal with them the best way possible, with whatever life skills we have within us. Some of these curveballs are in relationships. Some are in jobs. Some are in academics. Some are physical. Some are financial. Some health. This is what makes us all different, alike — and human. To deny failure, is to deny humanity. When you look at divorce that way, you may not feel so ashamed. Ending a marriage is a sign that your relationship is over. But instead of viewing that as a bad thing, you need to focus on the positive: You made a choice or a forced choice was imposed on you, that was likely best for you, your ex, and anyone else involved in the decision, such as children. Divorce is a new phase of your life. I have spoken with ladies, urging them on not to waste this season, it comes with many blessings that you can’t immediately see. When shame is removed from the equation, a powerful shift in attitude and future behaviours can result. There is a new dawn up ahead…..much as you may not see it now, your future will be even better than the past. It can show you the toxic people in your life. If you’re around people who are shaming you for your divorce, you need to ask them to support you, be there for you, and stop their negative comments. If they can’t, then move on. If those who are close to you can’t support you, then don’t waste your energy on them. It takes a lot of courage to admit that something just isn’t working, even when you have been forced into it. We can often be too stubborn to admit that, but through a divorce, life can actually be better than the deep unhappiness you may have been living in. In removing the shame-based ideology from marital separation and divorce, you’ll come to realise that divorce is not always a negative thing. In fact, divorce can be a powerful tool, throwing you into the next season of your life. I know it can be hard for some people to drown out the comments/looks/gossip of others — but these people are not their friends, and what they think doesn’t matter. You can’t help how you feel, but if you are feeling shame, guilt, or ostracised following a marital separation or divorce, it helps to know that you are not alone. Speak to a trusted therapist or find trusted friends, family or your pastor, who can help you take some of the shame out of the equation. The supernatural gift of divorce Please know that there is a supernatural gift in divorce, a unique experience of beauty and identification with God that can rise out of the ashes of devastation in your life. This does not mean that I am advocating for divorce – but if this is where you are, then know that there is HOPE for your future. When you feel most abandoned, most shamed, and most betrayed in your life, that is when it becomes the doorway through which we realise the depth of God’s profound provision of
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SAFETY PLANNING
When my ex-husband almost killed me, though I had seen the red flags screaming ‘beware the potential for domestic violence at hand’ the last thing on my mind was a safety plan for our daughter and myself. So when it happened, I was totally powerless as to what to do….
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Yellow Nail Polish: The Cyclical Nature of Depression
At about the age of seven, I begged my mom to buy me a bottle of neon yellow nail polish. After a few minutes (or what must have felt like an eon to my dear mother) of pleading, she caved.
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