Why Corporal Punishement Teaches Kids to Be Angry Adults
Every time the courts release another devastating ruling on school arson attacks in Kenya, the public conversation takes a predictable, lazy route. We see panel discussions and opinion pieces rushing to demand the return of the cane, shouting about “spoiled children” and a “lack of discipline.” But let’s expose a glaring historical reality that our society has conveniently forgotten: corporal punishment is already a direct violation of our legal framework. The Ministry of Education officially banned caning in 2001. Article 29 of the Constitution explicitly guarantees freedom from all forms of physical violence, and the Children Act of 2022 formally stripped away any remaining legal justification for physical correction. Yet, despite decades of clear legal prohibition, the hard truth is that many schools never actually stopped caning our children. The Myth of “I Turned Out Fine” We frequently hear parents defend the cane by saying: “We were beaten when we were young, and nothing happened to us. We turned out just fine.” But as a practicing clinical therapist, I see the hidden cost of that lie every single day behind closed doors. I have sat across from countless adults who are deeply, psychologically harmed by the very childhood violence they call “discipline.” They did not turn out fine. They turned out to be adults living with severe anxiety, broken self-esteem, deep-seated trauma, and a total inability to manage their emotions without lashing out or shutting down entirely. Under local and international children’s rights laws, caning is not correction—it is outright abuse. The Core Issue: Training the Wrong Thing A wise headteacher once told me: “Every time a child does something wrong, it is an opportunity to train them into doing the right thing.” But what are we actually training them to do when we use the cane? We are not teaching them emotional regulation, accountability, or discipline. We are teaching them that might makes right. We are equipping them with highly destructive life skills: how to suppress anger until it explodes, how to use violence to solve conflicts, and how to operate out of pure fear. We are actively training them how to be angry adults. When these children graduate and enter the workforce, marriages, and communities, they carry those exact negative skills into the world. The Toxic Cycle of Mutual Contempt Caning destroys the foundational bond of education. Because of the ongoing whipping, these children know they are actively “hated” by their handlers. In return, they grow to deeply hate their schools and their teachers. Respect cannot be beaten into a human being. When you replace respect with physical terror, you create a toxic, two-way street of animosity. The children withdraw, the teachers rule by fear, and the classroom becomes a powder keg. School unrest is not a random act of malice. It is the predictable, devastating language of children who have been systematically stripped of their voices, their agency, and their dignity. What We Need to Take Away This is not the first, second, or even third time we are having this debate in our society. We must break this cycle. What do we want the different people involved to take away from this? A Shared Responsibility Ultimately, a school should be a sanctuary, not a processing factory for trauma. When we resort to the cane, we admit that we have run out of words, run out of patience, and run out of better ideas. It means we have failed to do the harder, more necessary work of listening. If we want a society full of emotionally intelligent, stable, and peaceful adults, we have to start by practicing those exact values with our teenagers today. It is our job to absorb the shocks of life, not pass them down to a generation that doesn’t have the tools to process them. Let’s stop beating them into submission. Let’s start training them into the right thing. This crosses over to CHID ABUSE. This article was contributed by a practicing clinical practitioner Ms.Shiibero R. Akatsa with extensive experience evaluating adolescent mental health and community structures locally and abroad.
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The Silent Hurt Driving Our Children to the Edge
If you walk into many public boarding schools across the continent today, you will notice something deeply troubling. The high walls, and the rigid, unyielding routines don’t feel like a sanctuary for education. They feel like a detention center. In the wake of devastating tragedies like the Utumishi Girls Academy fire, the public conversation always takes a predictable route. We talk about “spoiled children,” a “lack of discipline,” and the need for stricter punishments. I couldnt beleve it, when i heard one indiviual in educationin Kenya – after this awful tragedy at Utumishi Girls academy – doare to talk about introducing ‘canning’ back in schools. Something that has been happening for the longest time. But this lazy narrative completely ignores a massive, bleeding wound in our education system: the quiet, daily emotional abuse of our children. From my own deep research into student unrest, the truth is glaringly clear. Our children are not burning schools because they are inherently malicious. They are burning them because they are angry, terrified, and utterly helpless. Now, before we go any further, I want to say something very important. This is not a blanket condemnation of every single school in Kenya. We have incredible public and private schools in this country led by amazing, selfless principals and loving teachers who protect our children daily. But we cannot hide behind the exceptions. The hard truth from research and our current headlines is that this “bootcamp” culture and silent frustration are an overwhelming reality in the majority of our public boarding institutions. When Schools Become Battlefields The public school system has become a breeding ground for trauma. Many children are already coming from fragile backgrounds, dealing with poverty, neglect, or domestic friction at home. They enter school hoping for a safe space to grow, but instead, they are met with systemic hostility. Overcrowded dormitories, poor sanitation, and extreme academic pressure create a baseline of constant physical and mental stress. But the heaviest blow comes from the culture of authority. Teachers, administrators, and staff—overworked, underpaid, and drowning in their own personal life stresses—frequently turn the classroom into a battleground. They use their power to humiliate, intimidate, and break the spirits of the children in their care. Instead of mentors, these authorities become the enemies of the child’s well-being. When a student tries to complain about basic human needs—like terrible food, sickness, or mental exhaustion—their voices are completely shut down. There are no channels for open communication, no trusted welfare systems, and a severe shortage of professional counselors. The institution effectively becomes a closed, suffocating world where the child has zero agency. Separating Adult Stress from Child Care We must say it clearly: our children are absorbing our adult frustrations. When a teacher brings financial anxiety, marital problems, or career stagnation into the classroom and takes it out on vulnerable teenagers, it is a form of institutional abuse. As adults, we must learn the vital boundaries of emotional maturity. We must separate our personal hardships from the way we interact with children. It is our job to absorb the shocks of life, not pass them down to a generation that doesn’t have the psychological tools to process them. When we fail to do this, we turn schools into pressure cookers, and arson becomes the student’s desperate language of protest. The Road to Healing: Intentional Living for the Masses Fixing this national emergency requires a complete re-imagining of what a school should be. We must demand an education system that values emotional safety as much as it values mean scores and high grades. This is where intentional living comes in for the wider community. We must actively choose to listen to our children. We need to build homes and school environments where children are seen as human beings who deserve representation, respect, and an emotional safety net. Let us stop treating our youth like cogs in an academic machine. By choosing presence, open communication, and soft empathy over rigid power and control, we can dismantle the bootcamp culture and give our children their sanctuaries back.
Read MoreHow I Overcame Impostor Syndrome and Embraced Imperfection
Are you a perfectionist who constantly feels like you’re falling short? Do you find it difficult to acknowledge your achievements and live in constant fear of being exposed as a fraud? If so, you may be familiar with the frustrating phenomenon known as Impostor Syndrome. But don’t worry, I’ve been there too, and in this article, I’ll share my personal journey of overcoming Impostor Syndrome as a perfectionist. Together, we’ll explore the connection between perfectionism and self-doubt and uncover strategies to break free from its grip. The Perfectionist’s Mindset As a perfectionist, I’ve always held myself to impossibly high standards. I believed that my self-worth was directly linked to my achievements and the approval of others. But let me tell you, this mindset can be exhausting. The constant need for validation and the fear of failure created a never-ending cycle of self-criticism. The Impostor Phenomenon: My Worst Nightmare Impostor Syndrome, or the “Impostor Phenomenon,” took hold of me with its relentless grip. Despite my evident accomplishments, I couldn’t shake the feeling of inadequacy and the fear of being exposed as a fraud. This struggle hit home for me as a perfectionist due to a few reasons that I’d like to share: Overcoming the Impostor Syndrome My journey toward overcoming Impostor Syndrome wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Here are some strategies that helped me break free from the clutches of self-doubt: Conclusion As a former perfectionist plagued by Impostor Syndrome, I can attest to the power of overcoming self-doubt and embracing imperfection. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to counter negative thought patterns, we can reclaim our self-worth and confidently acknowledge our achievements. Remember, true success is not measured by flawlessness but by the growth, learning, and impact we bring to the world. So let’s break free from the shackles of perfectionism and step into our authentic selves. Together, we can conquer Impostor Syndrome and thrive. Need impostor syndrome therapy to help you overcome it? Email: info@shibero.com
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Why Perfectionism Is a Weakness Not a Strength
Are you someone who always strives for perfection in every aspect of your life? Do you set sky-high standards for yourself and feel a constant need to achieve flawlessness? Well, let’s dive into what drives your pursuit of perfection and why you, as a perfectionist, are more prone to experiencing Impostor Syndrome. The Perfectionist’s Mindset You hold yourself to exceptionally high, unrealistic standards because you believe that your self-worth depends on your accomplishments and the approval of others. Those lofty goals you set for yourself can sometimes become overwhelming, leading to a never-ending cycle of self-criticism and doubt. Why Perfectionists Are Vulnerable to Impostor Syndrome Impostor Syndrome, with its persistent feelings of inadequacy and fear of being exposed as a fraud, tends to affect perfectionists like you even more profoundly. Here’s why: Fear of Failure: You fear failure intensely because you tie any misstep or deviation from your high standards to your self-worth. Not meeting your own or others’ expectations create immense anxiety and reinforces the belief that you’re an impostor. Overemphasising Criticism: You tend to take criticism to heart, even if it’s meant to be constructive. You internalise negative feedback as a sign of incompetence rather than an opportunity for growth. This further strengthens your belief that you’re an impostor in your field. Unrealistic Standards: You set impossibly high standards for yourself, making it hard to acknowledge your achievements genuinely. You dismiss your accomplishments as mere luck or timing, intensifying your feelings of fraudulence. Constant Comparisons: You often compare yourself to others, especially those you see as successful. When you perceive yourself as falling short in comparison, it reinforces the belief that you don’t deserve your achievements. Validation-Seeking Behaviour: You seek validation from external sources, such as praise, awards, or recognition. However, this constant need for validation becomes a double-edged sword, as it perpetuates the idea that your accomplishments aren’t genuinely earned. Navigating Your Journey as a Perfectionist Understanding what drives your perfectionism and its connection to Impostor Syndrome is key to finding a healthier balance. Here are some strategies to help you overcome self-doubt and embrace your journey: By understanding the underlying drivers of your perfectionism and implementing these strategies, you can navigate your journey with more self-compassion, embrace growth, and mitigate the impact of Impostor Syndrome. Remember, the pursuit of excellence should be a fulfilling and enriching experience rather than a constant source of self-doubt. Conclusion As a former perfectionist plagued by Impostor Syndrome, I can attest to the power of overcoming self-doubt and embracing imperfection. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to counter negative thought patterns, we can reclaim our self-worth and confidently acknowledge our achievements. Remember, true success is not measured by flawlessness but by the growth, learning, and impact we bring to the world. So let’s break free from the shackles of perfectionism and step into our authentic selves. Together, we can conquer Impostor Syndrome and thrive. PHYSIOLOGICAL HELP AVAILABLE Perfectionism stems from early years. If perfectionism is affecting your personal relationships and management of your teams at work, do contact us for psychological therapy send us an email at: info @shibero.com
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Yellow Nail Polish: The Cyclical Nature of Depression
At about the age of seven, I begged my mom to buy me a bottle of neon yellow nail polish. After a few minutes (or what must have felt like an eon to my dear mother) of pleading, she caved.
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