GETTING OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Finding the Strength to Break Free from Emotional Abuse Breaking away from an emotionally abusive relationship is indeed challenging, but it’s a vital step toward reclaiming your happiness. While understanding that you’re being mistreated is the starting point, the actual journey involves a deliberate decision and a solid plan for moving forward. This guide is designed to support you as you: Emotional abuse can drain your spirit, making you feel trapped, devalued, and overwhelmed. At times, it may seem easier to stay rather than face the challenge of leaving. But remember, no one should endure a lifetime of unhappiness and mistreatment. It’s essential for your mental and emotional well-being to escape such situations. Let’s delve into steps that can guide you on this journey: REGAIN CONTROL OVER YOUR SELF-PERCEPTION The road ahead might be tough, but the reward—a life filled with respect, love, and happiness—is well worth it.
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Finding Her Purpose: The Unspoken Journey of Every Woman
UnEarthing Her Purpose Ever felt that morning dread? When the alarm screams, and you just want to stay in bed? It’s not just about the early hour or the sleep you crave, It’s more about that nagging thought: “Is this all there is to my days?” We’ve all seen those women, shining so bright, Living their passion, every day and night. But sometimes we wonder, looking in the mirror, “What’s my spark? What makes my heart stir?” Think of Anita Roddick of The Body Shop. Ever heard her Body Shop story Started with a friend over a cup of tea. She had this brilliant idea, to make beauty products using natural ingredients with ecologically benign manufacturing processes. She believed business could be a force for good. She turned this tiny idea into an empire – out of thin air! Every one of us has that special thing, That heart song, that passion, making our hearts sing. It’s so natural to you, that you might even miss it, That it’s your unique gift, your blissful bliss. No need to look far, or mimic someone else’s tune, You’ve got your own rhythm, your own heart’s monsoon. For some, it’s nurturing, for others, it’s art, It’s that thing that lights you up, and sets you apart. When you’re in sync, living that true beat, Even Mondays feel like they’ve got dancing feet. But if you’re off track, feeling kinda lost, It’s like everything’s frosty, covered in frost. But here’s a thing, before life rushes by: You’ve still got time, to reach for the sky. For every lady out there, feeling kinda stuck, Tune into your heart; with a little luck, You’ll find your passion, your heart’s melody, And trust me, that’s when you’ll truly feel free.
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How I Overcame Impostor Syndrome and Embraced Imperfection
Are you a perfectionist who constantly feels like you’re falling short? Do you find it difficult to acknowledge your achievements and live in constant fear of being exposed as a fraud? If so, you may be familiar with the frustrating phenomenon known as Impostor Syndrome. But don’t worry, I’ve been there too, and in this article, I’ll share my personal journey of overcoming Impostor Syndrome as a perfectionist. Together, we’ll explore the connection between perfectionism and self-doubt and uncover strategies to break free from its grip. The Perfectionist’s Mindset As a perfectionist, I’ve always held myself to impossibly high standards. I believed that my self-worth was directly linked to my achievements and the approval of others. But let me tell you, this mindset can be exhausting. The constant need for validation and the fear of failure created a never-ending cycle of self-criticism. The Impostor Phenomenon: My Worst Nightmare Impostor Syndrome, or the “Impostor Phenomenon,” took hold of me with its relentless grip. Despite my evident accomplishments, I couldn’t shake the feeling of inadequacy and the fear of being exposed as a fraud. This struggle hit home for me as a perfectionist due to a few reasons that I’d like to share: Overcoming the Impostor Syndrome My journey toward overcoming Impostor Syndrome wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Here are some strategies that helped me break free from the clutches of self-doubt: Conclusion As a former perfectionist plagued by Impostor Syndrome, I can attest to the power of overcoming self-doubt and embracing imperfection. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to counter negative thought patterns, we can reclaim our self-worth and confidently acknowledge our achievements. Remember, true success is not measured by flawlessness but by the growth, learning, and impact we bring to the world. So let’s break free from the shackles of perfectionism and step into our authentic selves. Together, we can conquer Impostor Syndrome and thrive. Need impostor syndrome therapy to help you overcome it? Email: info@shibero.com
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Why Perfectionism Is a Weakness Not a Strength
Are you someone who always strives for perfection in every aspect of your life? Do you set sky-high standards for yourself and feel a constant need to achieve flawlessness? Well, let’s dive into what drives your pursuit of perfection and why you, as a perfectionist, are more prone to experiencing Impostor Syndrome. The Perfectionist’s Mindset You hold yourself to exceptionally high unrealistic standards because you believe that your self-worth depends on your accomplishments and the approval of others. Those lofty goals you set for yourself can sometimes become overwhelming, leading to a never-ending cycle of self-criticism and doubt. Why Perfectionists Are Vulnerable to Impostor Syndrome The Impostor Syndrome, with its persistent feelings of inadequacy and fear of being exposed as a fraud, tends to affect perfectionists like you even more profoundly. Here’s why: Fear of Failure: You fear failure intensely because you tie any misstep or deviation from your high standards to your self-worth. Not meeting your own or others’ expectations create immense anxiety and reinforces the belief that you’re an impostor. Overemphasizing Criticism: You tend to take criticism to heart, even if it’s meant to be constructive. You internalize negative feedback as a sign of incompetence rather than an opportunity for growth. This further strengthens your belief that you’re an impostor in your field. Unrealistic Standards: You set impossibly high standards for yourself, making it hard to acknowledge your achievements genuinely. You dismiss your accomplishments as mere luck or timing, intensifying your feelings of fraudulence. Constant Comparisons: You often compare yourself to others, especially those you see as successful. When you perceive yourself as falling short in comparison, it reinforces the belief that you don’t deserve your achievements. Validation-Seeking Behavior: You seek validation from external sources, such as praise, awards, or recognition. However, this constant need for validation becomes a double-edged sword, as it perpetuates the idea that your accomplishments aren’t genuinely earned. Navigating Your Journey as a Perfectionist Understanding what drives your perfectionism and its connection to Impostor Syndrome is key to finding a healthier balance. Here are some strategies to help you overcome self-doubt and embrace your journey: By understanding the underlying drivers of your perfectionism and implementing these strategies, you can navigate your journey with more self-compassion, embrace growth, and mitigate the impact of Impostor Syndrome. Remember, the pursuit of excellence should be a fulfilling and enriching experience rather than a constant source of self-doubt. Conclusion As a former perfectionist plagued by Impostor Syndrome, I can attest to the power of overcoming self-doubt and embracing imperfection. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to counter negative thought patterns, we can reclaim our self-worth and confidently acknowledge our achievements. Remember, true success is not measured by flawlessness but by the growth, learning, and impact we bring to the world. So let’s break free from the shackles of perfectionism and step into our authentic selves. Together, we can conquer Impostor Syndrome and thrive. PHYSIOLOGICAL HELP AVAILABLE Perfectionism stems from early years. If perfectionism is affecting your personal relationships and management of your teams at work, do contact us for psychological therapy send us an email at: info @shibero.com
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TO WOMEN WHO LOVE THEIR ALCOHOL
Are you a woman who has taken to having an alcoholic drink regularly?If so you could be putting your health at risk. According to a study by WHO World Health survey of African women(including female youth) are drinking more and more. (b mcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/ ). Women are using alcohol to cope with the chronic levels of stress. This trend istroubling because of the harmful consumption of alcohol and drugs. Particular alcohol risks in womenDid you know, while many are able to drink responsibly, alcohol use does pose unique risks to women? Alcohol affects women in unique ways. A woman’s body processes alcohol more slowly than a man’s. One drink for a woman has about twice the effect of one for a man. Plus, women have a “telescoping,” or accelerated, course of alcohol dependence, meaning that they generally advance from their first drink to their first alcohol-related problem to the need for treatment more quickly than men. Several biological factors make women more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol than men. ❖ Body fat. Women tend to weigh less than men, and—pound for pound—a woman’s body contains less water and more fatty tissue than a man’s.Because fat retains alcohol while water dilutes it, alcohol remains at higher concentrations for longer periods of time in a woman’s body, exposing her brain and other organs to more alcohol. ❖ Enzymes. Women have lower levels of two enzymes—alcohol dehydrogenase and aldehyde dehydrogenase—that metabolize (break down) alcohol in the stomach and liver. As a result, women absorb more alcohol into their bloodstream than men.❖ Hormones. Changes in hormone levels during the menstrual cycle may also affect how a woman metabolizes alcohol. These biological factors explain why women become intoxicated after drinking less and are more likely to suffer adverse consequences after drinking smaller quantities and for fewer years than men. Women also tend to develop alcohol-related diseases and other consequences of drinking sooner than men, and after drinking smaller cumulative amounts of alcohol. Women are also more likely to abuse alcohol and other substances in order to self-medicate problems such as depression, anxiety, and stress, or to cope with emotional difficulties. Women who drink more than more than about 7 drinks a week, are at increasedrisk of car accidents and other traumatic injuries, cancer, hypertension, stroke, and suicide. In addition, drinking at an elevated rate increases the likelihood that a woman will go on to abuse or become dependent on alcohol. Alcohol and Breast CancerAlcohol may also raise a woman’s chance of developing breast cancer. Each additional 10 grams of alcohol (the amount in about one 4-oz glass of wine) per day raises the relative risk of developing breast cancer over a lifetime by about 10%. To put this in perspective: Sexual and physical abuse increases risk Evidence also suggests that sexual or physical abuse during childhood may predispose both men and women to alcohol and drug problems in adulthood. Since women are more likely to have been victims of childhood sexual abuse, they are disproportionately affected. Research shows that:❖ Women who have been physically or sexually abused as children are far more likely to drink, have alcohol-related problems, or become dependent on alcohol.❖ Physical abuse during adulthood, which is suffered more by women than men, seems to raise a woman’s risk of using and abusing alcohol.❖ Alcohol is a major factor in violence against women, playing a role in as many as three of every four rapes and nearly the same percentage ofdomestic violence incidents. ❖ Women with a family history of alcohol abuse are more likely than men with the same background to abuse alcohol. Drinking during pregnancy is never a good idea Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can cause an array of physical and mental birth defects, and is the leading preventable cause of mental retardation.When a pregnant woman drinks, alcohol passes through the placenta to her fetus. In the fetus’s developing digestive system, alcohol breaks down much more slowlythan it does in an adult body, meaning that the fetus’s blood alcohol level can remain high for longer periods. Any kind of alcohol in any amount can harm a developing fetus, especially during the first and second trimester. Physicians and public health officials recommend that women avoid drinking any alcohol during pregnancy. Healthy Drinking Tips. To look after your health when drinking, it is best to keep your units to a low level. For women, it is safest not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis. 14 units means roughly six pints of lager or one and a half bottles of wine. If you have one or two heavy drinking episodes (binge drinking) a week, you increase your risk of long term illness and injury. The risk of developing a range of health problems (including cancers of the mouth, throat and breast) increases the more you drink on a regular basis. If you wish to cut down on the amount you drink during the week, you can have several drink-free days a week. Finally… Drinking to make yourself feel better or to drown your sorrows, even though you may get some relief from using alcohol and drugs, it is only short term.In the long run, drugs and alcohol can make you feel worse because: ❖ You avoid problems; you don’t solve them.❖ Drugs and alcohol affect how you work, play, or get along with others.❖ You can become dependent on them. Alcohol is a drug. Even though it has been used throughout history, for social occasions, to celebrate initiation ceremonies and milestones and holidays. So alcohol itself is not inherently evil. When used responsibly, alcohol can turn social gatherings to enjoy pleasant experiences. BUT when it is misused like everything else, alcohol can do more harm than any other drug in the world. Because it’s socially acceptable. AT the end of the day, ask yourself this: IS the cost of Your addiction to alcohol worth your family, friends and your health? Find Out if you are addicted to
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Struggling to set boundaries with Boundaries with your adult children?
I remember when our daughter was young, my presence was central to her life. I, asMum, provided daily support and supervision. And now that she is an adult, the way inwhich I am present for her has had to change…and am still learning everyday along theway of this new season, which has its challenges! When our young adults leave the family home, I realize boundaries with parents oftenhappen organically. Your children settle into their new life with its freedoms andresponsibilities. Setting boundaries with our adult children, especially those who arearticulate, shrewd, manipulative, and can present very persuasive arguments, can bevery challenging and frustrating. Do you help your adult child to the point that it has become a pattern of unhealthyrescuing? Maybe you ‘save’ your adult child every time he or she is in trouble? You may be making things worse in the long run. Maybe you struggle with knowing where to drawthat fine (or not so fine) line between letting them know how to stand on their own twofeet and bailing them out. As parents, we need to be thoughtful about how to assist ouradult children without enabling them. Adult children who remain overly dependent on their parents become dependent,because we, as parents have colluded with the adult children in enabling them tobecome codependent. Often this relationship stems from those parents who want to beneeded or feel the need to overcompensate for childhood reasons and or their ownchildhood issues. It can be very challenging for parents to set boundaries for adultchildren who have become overly dependent. It is frustrating, draining and emotionallydepleting. To start setting those boundaries for your adult children, it is well worth asking thefollowing questions: ❖ Is your child acting entitled to, and demanding things they once enjoyed beforelike: perks at home, food, responsibilities of washing up etc.?❖ Does it feel like you are living from crisis to crisis with your adult child?❖ Do you sacrifice too much to meet your adult child’s needs?❖ Are you afraid of hurting your child?❖ Are you feeling burdened, used, resentful, or burnt out? Setting boundariesAs children graduate or leave home, as parents we need to increasingly push them intobecoming self-sufficient. This does not mean parents should abruptly put their adultchild on the street. At the same time, the adult child needs to “own” his or her goals andplans to become self-reliant. Sometimes, crises occur that send children back home such as a bad breakup,problems at college, or health issues. This is acceptable as long as there is a plan inplace for the adult child to become independent.Try not to be adversarial as you encourage your child to become more independent.The goal is to be supportive and understanding with a collaborative mindset. Be calm,firm, and non-controlling in your demeanor as you express these guiding expectationsbelow to motivate your adult child toward healthy independence: Finally remember:When you have adult children, it means your role as a parent has changed. The roledoesn’t mean you lose having them in your life, but it does mean the family dynamic willbe different. Ironically, clear boundaries can bring you closer together. They allow your adult childrento evolve, grow, and help protect against relationship breakdowns that can occur withtoo much codependency on parents.
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TIRED OF THE DRAMA IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
Is your life a constant drama? Maybe it’s someone else you know? Somehow theyalways seem to attract drama. Ever wished you could make the drama stop? Well nowyou can end the constant emotionally charged battle that repeats itself in your life.Relationships can be so full of drama that leaves you feeling like you’ve just beenthrough the longest cycle in a washing machine. There’s nothing that can compare to allthe drama a relationship can bring, especially with another adult. Your life becomes aroller coaster of highs and lows, depending on what mood they are in for the day. Loveis intense. Anger is even more intense. Some people thrive off this type of drama, butit’s definitely not healthy.Only once we understand how drama is created and sustained in our relationships, willwe be able to take steps to break out of it. A helpful framework for understanding thisdrama is called the Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle: Unhealthy RelationshipsSimply put. Drama in a relationship is made-up conflict. A discussion or debate wherethere’s zero actual conversation, you’re just fighting for the sake of fighting. Underneathit all, its mind games being played by both or one part of the couple. The peopleengaging are usually insecure, immature, or have a manipulative type of personality. . Since Stephen Karpman (Karpman’s Drama Triangle) first came up with it in the 1960’s,psychologists have found it very helpful for unpacking what’s going on in unhealthyrelationship dynamics.The Three Roles ExplainedIn the Drama Triangle, each player in the particular mind game begins by assuming oneof the three typical roles: Like stage drama, each drama you engage in, characters in the ‘story’ take on differentroles in relation to each other. That the drama is sustained when the roles shift from onecharacter to another. In life we can all play each of these roles – Persecutor, Victim, andRescuer – and often more than one at a time. Think about it? Here’s an example.Husband (persecutor) is shouting at his wife (victim) for the way he thinks she spendsfood money ‘irresponsibly’. Wife cowers and starts to cry, without defending herself(victim mode). Husband (rescuer) rushes over to her and starts apologizing saying hedidn’t mean to make her feel bad. What follows can either be a continuation of thoseroles, or possibly a change of roles where Wife turns round and starts accusing him ofalways shouting at her etc. If you consider your own life you will have played one ofthese roles at some point. It is very uncomfortable to admit, yet knowing that you havecan be the very first step towards being happier. More about breaking free from thedrama triangle later in this article.The Roles. Victims are overwhelmed by their own vulnerability and don’t take responsibility for theirsituation. They deny any responsibility for their negative circumstances and denypossession of the power to change those circumstances. Victims have a real problemmaking decisions, solving problems, finding much pleasure in life, or understanding theirself-perpetuating behaviors.Victim’s Sayings and Self-Talk. ‘Poor me. So unfair’. It always happens to me’. ‘I never get abreak’. To the Rescuer: ‘Only you can help me’. Defining DramaWhat we often dismiss as “drama” is actually unprocessed pain. Here are two of themost common sources of relationship drama.❖ The Battle for Power. The number one cause of drama is power. If someonesays something that hurts our feelings, it makes us feel powerless. We usuallywant that power back right away. The only way to do this is to say somethingmore hurtful. This is why people say things they don’t mean when they fight. Indrama-packed relationships, people argue to get the upper hand instead of tryingto resolve problems.❖ The Battle Within. Drama rooted in delusion is the most difficult to overcome.Wounds from old relationships can resurface in new ones. For example, if youstill suffer from a past betrayal, you may be suspicious in new relationships andsee deceit where none exists. Projection of old hurts onto new relationships canresult in conflicts that feel psychotic. If all your relationships have conflicts with arecurring theme, you might need professional counseling.Now you are aware of the Drama Triangle and the roles in the triangular setting. So areyou a victim, a rescuer, or a persecutor? Getting out of the drama triangleGetting out of your Drama Triangle starts with you knowing you’re in one.Refuse to get ‘hooked in’ by refusing to play the Roles that Always End in Failure.When unrealistic expectations cause you to play the roles of Persecutor, Victim orRescuer rise above the person you were, who created the problem. If you are involved with people who play any of the roles in the Drama Triangle, say toyourself, “this is a game that always ends in failure and I choose not to play.”Drama is something we and other people use to distract us from the reality of how wefeel. Getting out of your Drama Triangle is not always as easy as you may imagine, butnow that you know the different roles that often lead nowhere, you can make thedecision to ‘not get hooked’. Walk away.
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LAUGHTER THE BEST MEDICINE
African Teacher Joke “ My school teacher taught me most of the lies I telltoday. She would tell me to write a letter to my uncleabroad when she knows my uncle is in the village”. When was the last time you had a really good laugh from the pit of your stomach? Thistakes letting go of your inhibitions and just indulging in the laughter. There’s a certainfreedom in belly aching laughter.Laughter is FREE and one of life’s greatest gifts. It makes our complex and oftenconfusing existence decidedly more tolerable. It’s so satisfying when you laugh untilyour stomach hurts. And because laughter is contagious, there’s an inexplicable powerin sharing laughter with others, and even with complete strangers. Laughter is auniversal language.The great thing also is that the benefits of laughter are instantaneous. You don’t need to‘wait’ for anything, anyone or for it to show up in you like a workout at the gym orexercise class.There’s a great deal of evidence that shows laughing improves both our mental andphysical health. For example, research shows laughter activates the release of happyhormones when it comes to happiness mainly Serotonin, Dopamine, Endorphins andOxytocin. These affect your entire body and work towards stabilizing mood, feelings ofwell-being, and happiness.So, laughter not only reinforces social bonds, it’s essential to our survival. When lifegets tough, laughter is often the only thing that makes us feel better. Laughter sets thespirit free – doesn’t matter how ‘you look’ when cracked up with laughter, even in eventhe most tragic circumstances. It helps us shake our heads clear, get our feet back under us and restore our sense ofbalance. Humor is integral to our peace of mind and our ability to go beyond survival. Itgives us strength, both spiritually and mentally.Oftentimes, we take life so seriously that we forget that we need something to lift us up,that doesn’t demand anything of us – like laughter! We should laugh at the absurdity ofit all and revel in both our positive and negative characteristics — they’re what make usunique.Life is a series of ups and downs. We can’t allow negativity to take over; we have tofight against it, and laughter is one of our most powerful tools in this endeavor.Here’s an ‘African joke’ that I found quite funny from a website. Have a good laugh.Sometimes the funniest things can be the things you encounter every day. You know you are African when….
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COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS NAME THEM ONE BY ONE
These last five years, there have been many challenges for many people, and becauseof this, it would be easy to focus on the negatives that have gone on in our lives.Without denying what people have been through, it is essential to be grateful and tocount our blessings every day, for we are alive and still surrounded by beauty andpositive relationships that bring belonging.Counting our blessings and being thankful, is gratitude. Practicing gratitude has apositive impact on many aspects of our life, ranging from mental health to ourrelationships.Researchers took a deeper dive into what differentiated those who felt positiveemotions and those who didn’t. Scientists found that participants who expressedgratitude and thankfulness on that day were more likely to feel positive emotions withincreased “life satisfaction” on the following days.In another study, researchers examined how counting your blessings impacts overallwell-being. Participants were divided into three groups: One group was asked to journalabout negative events or hassles, a second group about the things for which they weregrateful and a third group about neutral life events.The sample that journaled their gratitude showed much higher levels of well-beingacross the board in comparison with the other two study groups. The major takeaway,according to researchers, was that a conscious focus on blessings may have majoremotional and interpersonal benefits. Gratitude increases the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin andhelps you deflect those negative thoughts. So why not celebrate minoraccomplishments, perform small acts of kindness, and appreciate the big and smallthings in your life.Living a life filled with gratitude brings many positive changes in people. It helps younotice the little things that you haven’t had to consciously work towards ‘acquiring’.Things that are FREE like the sun shining ,the smell of the rain, the waking up of theday fresh and untouched, waking up alive, having a cozy evening with your family.These are things that we take for granted – yet somebody somewhere wishes they couldhave what you have. Everyone can find three things to be grateful for.Take a moment and reflect on your life and the positive things you have. The peopleyou value, the possessions you enjoy, and the modern-day conveniences we often takefor granted. I am reminded of a song we used to see in Sunday school “count you’remany blessings name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God hasdone…, count your blessings, count your blessings, count your many blessings namethem one by one” You will find that there are many.Taking the time to be thankful and appreciative for things you have received, tangible orintangible, makes you feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, reducesdepression, lowers blood pressure, increases energy and happiness, and even prolongsyour life! Who wouldn’t want that – it doesn’t cost you a thing!
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Mental Health Has to Be Part of Schools’ Curriculums!
We need to save our children! They are seriously affected by depression and anxietyleading to suicides at a very young age. Here are some statistics:In Africa, 2 in 7 young people aged 5 to 16 have a mental health problem. 2 in 10 areaffected by depression anxiety and posttraumatic stress that is around five children inevery class. Suicide is the ninth most common cause of death for young people in Africaage 10-14. Adolescents and teens aged 10-19 years, 37 million of them live with amental disorder, anxiety and depression accounts for almost 50 per cent of mentaldisorders (unicef.org/media/109886). This picture is quite frightening, considering that the figures of children affected bymental ill health continues to sky rocket. It is time for schools both rural and urban areasto take the mental health of children seriously, enough to include it in the curriculum because mental health issues are becoming more common in children and adolescentsin Africa. Looking after one’s mental health can preserve a person’s ability to enjoy lifeas there can be no health and joy without mental health. Depression is on the riseThere are 322 million people who live with depression globally, 29.9 million ofthese are in Africa including children – and 66 million of these are women.(Worldhealth Organization).Mental illness, particularly depression, is predicted tobecome one of the major health burdens in the future..As childhood and adolescent mental health disorders are already so common inAfrica, and depression is on the rise, we need to do something in schools. It’sbaffling that we are not equipping our children with an understanding of mentalhealth and self-care. Undiagnosed, inadequately treated or untreated mentalillness can seriously affect their ability to learn and grow. It can lead to negativecoping mechanisms and at worst, may result in suicide. The importance of early interventionLearning about early warning signs, and taking action can help. It can reduce theseverity of the illness, and it may even be possible to prevent or delay thedevelopment of a major mental illness. Some of these signs are apathy, feelingsof disconnection, nervousness, unusual behavior, withdrawal, mood changes anda drop in performance.Mental health education should be part of thecurriculumWe need to be working towards a school environment where students are able torecognize when they’re dealing with mental health issues and feel they can askfor help. Just as they do, with their physical health. Just as physical education is part of the curriculum in schools, mental health awarenessand education should be too. Our children spend most of their day at school. We needto empower them with knowledge about mental illness.Mental health is as important as the physical health, in fact more important than thephysical health, because it’s out of our mental health state that that we feed our physicalhealth, and from the space that we live our everyday lives, wherever we are andwhatever we are doing. It all comes back to our mental state. It all leads to teachingmental and physical health together leads to better outcomes for students and thewhole school community. If children, teachers and the school communities learn aboutmental health in school, not only students, but the whole school community will managetheir lives better.This in turn will also remove the fear that lies around mental health, help break themyths, taboos and stigma of mental ill health, something that is prevalent in Africa andnormalize mental health and all the negative issues that surround it.Increased Risk of Substance AbuseIn this day and age, children are no longer ‘to be seen’ and not heard. The link betweenpoor mental health and increased substance abuse is undeniable. The use of drugs andalcohol is a way for many people to cope with their feelings.If children learn about mental health in school, they will know how to better deal withtheir emotions. This will result in fewer young people turning to drugs and alcohol as anescape.ConclusionPrimary and high schools are a time of important change and development. It is also atime when mental health problems such as depression and anxiety first emerge. Schools can be an amazing source of support for children during these years, but theycan also be a source of strain or stress, and it is often in schools where symptoms ofmental health problems are first identified. Mental health education is not yet mandatory in schools. Until it is, teachers andthe school communities need to help shine the light on the concept of self-care.And, they need to emphasize the fact that mental health is an integral part ofhealth. A cultural shift in attitudes about mental health needs to start with the young. Theonly way they’re going to understand more about mental health and stopstigmatizing is if they receive the necessary education.Schools need to foster an environment in schools where mental health issuescan be identified and addressed without being stigmatized. Awareness should beraised about mental health crises, such as self-harm, substance abuse, eatingdisorders and other negative coping behavior needs to be created.If everyone in schools is empowered with knowledge, and dialogue isencouraged, students will have the freedom to open up about what they aregoing through. This will allow them to get the support they need before it’s toolate.Making mental health education a mandatory part of the school curriculum is longoverdue. Shibero Akatsa(Ms)
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